Tomorrow

Tomorrow we go back to the doctor to get another look at our baby. I should be 11 weeks and 3 days tomorrow.

I'm nervous, anxious, excited and scared at the same time.

The throwing up, exhaustion and growing belly would all suggest things are going as they should. But there is still that part of me that is unsure. It's that same part that doesn't trust my own body and thinks it could once again be playing tricks on me.

Hopefully the appointment goes well and I'll finally allow myself to get a bellyband, break out the other bra and finally let this all soak in. Two days later we leave for Europe so a good doctors appointment is crucial for our trip. I want to enjoy our time there and remember as "the last big trip before we had kids".

Adding to the pressure of a positive doctors appointment is that my childhood best friend is due in May. Our moms are still best friends and I don't think I could handle another friend having a baby right around the time I was supposed to. It's selfish sure. but dealing with it once has been hard enough. I came out strong from it but don't want to do it again.

Tomorrow morning can't come soon enough at this point. I've been counting down the days for weeks and think about it constantly. I'm trying to get past the what ifs and negative thoughts.

Tomorrow, will be a good day.