Postives and Negatives

If you asked me 20 minutes ago if I thought I was pregnant my answer would have undoubtedly been "yes". Now, it's a "I'm not so sure".

Last Sunday I took a home ovulation kit (opk) and it was positive. Because I had the strips I continued to take them for six more days and got all positives. Of course, I turned to my friend google, and all the message boards said "you are already pregnant". So of course, that's what I started to believe. I took note that my nipples hurt, my back hurt and that I was tired.

Then this morning, I took one and it came back negative. Which leads me to believe that maybe I am not. Am I once again making things up in my head? Do I want this so bad that I wish symptoms on myself?

So, today I can't help but feel a little deflated. I was sure I was going to get a positive pregnancy test in Jackson Hole this weekend (I even bought a back of tests to pack in my suitcase). But, I'm starting to become less sure.  Partly, because the other thing google said was that several days of +opk could also mean that the egg is having a hard time releasing. If that's the case, who knows what will happen. 
 As I was cooking dinner last night, I was preparing a big pot of pasta and I started think about how I love cooking for a crowd and how I want a house full of kids. Even though I'm only 29, I started to wonder if we should have started trying earlier. Should we have done the standard two year wait and then tried? But then I need to remind myself, we only waited an extra year. And a year in the scheme of things isn't a lot.

So, I'm trying to stay positive about the whole thing, Positives are a good thing.