The Consolation Prize

On Friday as I was driving to accupunture I came to a conclusion I've needed to come to for awhile. I'm going to calm down. 

This cycle I've already noticed a more relaxed attitude but I'm doing a couple things differently, no alcohol, no tylenol or other medications and drinking this special water my mom brought me. I used ovulation sticks but I didn't pee on them multiple times a day. Just first thing when I get up. I've had positive ovulation strips the past two days and I plan on testing in the morning still just to see how long it lasts (more out of curiosity). 

One of the things that has helped me relax is we booked a trip to Europe for September. We leave the day I would have been due. It will be a very welcome distraction.

Lately, I've spent so much time looking at hotels and things to do in Europe that I haven't had time to think about getting pregnant and it's been really nice. If I do get pregnant this cycle I'll be 16 weeks in Europe. My number one wish is that, that does indeed happen but if it doesn't I need to stay positive and remember that's okay too. I'd love to not drink French wine but if I have a glass because I can, then that's okay too.

I feel like booking this last trip is our send-off. We always said we wanted to go to Europe again (and planned on going this summer or for our 5 year anniversary next year). Hopefully next year we will have a little one and getting to Europe will be a little harder. So, while I won't be having a baby in September I will be getting a pretty good second prize (with the first hopefully coming a few months later).

So next cycle (if there is one), I'm not using ovulation sticks (I've pretty much figured out when that happens), I'm not going to drink special waters or teas, I'm just going to let it happen. One of the reasons I may feel so confident is that I don't think there is going to be another cycle. I really don't. Last month was stressful, and the one before that was too. This month, I'm in a better mood (thanks in part to accupunture) and I'm looking forward to things ahead. This is a good month.