Last week after a faint positive on Wednesday morning, I took two more tests on Thursday night and they came back positive. I'm excited and scared at the same time. This time around we decided not to tell anyone right away. Last time, we told my parents the day we found out.
Since we have known for almost a week and not said anything it's been kind of nice. I actually find myself thinking about it less and there seems to be less pressure. When my parents know talk will turn 100% on baby. With just Eric and I knowing, it can be more in the back of our minds.
When I do start to think about it a lot I get nervous. In some ways things feel the same as they did last time (legs hurting, frequent urination, tender boobs) and that scares me. Scares me that maybe things won't go right again. I'm also more confident though that things will go right. Both times I got pregnant the second month of trying and so I'm thinking I must be pretty healthy and I know the chances of multiple miscarriages is slim. Plus. my doctor is already doing bloodwork, has me on progesterone and I have an ultrasound on Monday.
Monday's ultrasound is what's really exciting/scary to me. I'll be almost 6 weeks and so we should be able to hear a heartbeat. I'm trying not to think about the what ifs but more of the excitement of what that will feel like. I know there is a chance since I ovulated late that we won't be able to detect it at that time. I need to stay positive though. I know this little bean will stick.
In order to keep things relaxed for me, I've also done something different, I haven't added the baby app to my phone. I decided I'll wait until Monday and when everything goes well there, then I will do it. I think we'll also wait to tell my parents until at least then.
So, here we go, starting the journey again (but with a much different end result.... I know it!).
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