Being "Ready"

Recently, I've been thinking about why we "weren't ready" to grow our family until recently. Looking back, I really don't know what made the difference.

We have a house, my husband has a good job and we enjoy doing things that can be done with a kid like going to the beach and cooking dinner at home. We've never been ones to go out downtown or hang out at bars (okay so maybe my husband is) but the I question why I didn't think I was ready before (and then of course why when I thought I was ready my body didn't think I was).

A lot of women may blame it on a career but to be honest I have never wanted to work in an office or have some grand career. I've always wanted to have a small business I can do from home but have my number one job be a mom. I've known this my entire life but yet it took me until I was 29 to even start acting on this. Why?

I've always been told "you are going to be a great mom one day". Maybe it's because I love to bake, cook and do crafty things. I've always known I wanted to be a mom but just not sure of the timing.

I remember once, before I was married,  I was at lunch with some older male co-workers and one of them asked me if I was putting the pressure on to get married. And I replied, "oh no way, I'm not ready for that.". But then, like a light switch a few months later I was SO READY. Luckily, my husband agreed.

Having a baby of course hasn't been as easy. For awhile I had the mindset, we needed to wait until friends weddings were over. I talked to my doctor about it and she said, "there will always be a wedding or an event and some point you realize you can't put your life on hold for everyone else." Of course looking back, I wish we had started to try right then. I say that but I know it wouldn't be rational, I had the weight to loose and we had weddings (like my brothers) to attend.

That was last September and I remember leaving the doctors thinking, "I'll be in here the same time next year having a baby."

And to think, that almost worked.

Really, there is no point to look back and think of what could have been. It's pointless and exhausting. Things will work out and the timing will be right.