Yesterday my "pact friend" asked me to go consignment/furniture shopping. I was pretty sure she wanted to look for nursery stuff and to be honest I just wasn't up for it. I actually had a lot of work to do so I declined (but did ask if she wanted to go to lunch).
For some reason, I decided to ask an old work friend to go to lunch that day. I hadn't seen her in awhile and she's usually up to get out of the office. So, we met at our usual spot, Panera. I did something I haven't done in quite a while and got a soda. Before we even got our lunch, she told me how much she missed soda because, you guessed it, she's pregnant! Really...
I never really suspected this girl to be preggo. She has a son and is very vocal about how one kid is enough for her. Guess not. She's due in October (which now makes this the third friend due in October/November). Of course, she then started to ask me about our plans and if we were trying. I tried to be coy, with generic answers and saying it just hadn't worked out yet, but then we she started telling me about her sister who had been trying for awhile and seeing fertility doctors but now is pregnant too, I just blurted out, "yeah I had a miscarriage". The friend was shocked at first but not taken aback enough to leave out the part that they "weren't trying". I decided after this lunch that maybe I don't really need to call her to go to lunch anymore.
Later that night I ended up going over to my neighbors house. She asked me over for wine (which she's never done). We were talking about women issues and a few glasses later I told her about the misscarriage too. My neighbor has a little boy but it took them 10 months to get pregnant. They've been trying again and the reason she wanted to have wine that night is because she had a negative test that morning. Funny, that at about the same time yesterday we were both discovering it would be at least another month. I'm hoping April will be the month for both of us...
Talking to her, although hard was good. I've been trying to be more open and I've come to realize this isn't something I need to hide. I don't plan on telling anyone else but if it comes up or the conversation steers that way I'm going to be okay with it. I think it honestly gave her a new respect towards me. We are some of the youngest on the block and I think having that conversation about real adult things showed that maybe we could be friends and she could think of me as more of a peer. It's odd how a random email to an old co-worker or a text from a neighbor and the events that follow can completely change your outlook on someone.
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