On Friday I had a bit of a breakdown. Several of my college friends were in town for a bachlorette party. Since most of these girls aren't even married I thought I'd be safe from the "when are you going to have kids" conversation. Well after one friend volunteered that they were trying another asked, "so who is going to be pregnant or have a baby by this time next year?". I tried to keep my mouth shut but I could feel the tears starting to form. After not saying much, I was asked directly by the same friend, I tried the whole "when the timing is right" or saying generic stupid things that didnt make a lot of sense and before I knew it, I had burst into tears and told them all I had a miscarriage.
I get asked that question all the time, but this was the first time I just burst into tears about it. Unfortunately for me, it was in front of 8 people. Not exactly, the way to keep something private should go. But, I didn't let them know a lot of details, just that it had happened and that it's been really tough. I hadn't thought of this but another friend later pointed out that if statistics are right at least one of these girls will also go through what I did so, at least now they know someone else has gone through it too.
Slowly more and more people are starting to know and find out. It's kind of weird that "our little secret" is becoming more out in the open.
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