A Glimmer...

On Friday, fuel was added to my crazy fire.

And a glimmer of hope was ignited.

On Friday, I called my OBGYN to ask the nurse about my irregular cycles. My last two periods post d&c were really really heavy. Like, crazy heavy with lots of cramps. On Tuesday night I started my period and by Thursday afternoon it had pretty much stopped. My period is usually 5-7 days long so this was really weird also, I had cramps before the bleeding but nothing the day of (which was really weird). So, I called the nurse to see if she thought I needed to come see the doctor. She asked me some questions and said it's either one of two things.

1. My cycle is really irregular since the miscarriage and this is just a product of that. If this continues next month she told me I'll need to come in to get a chemically started period.

and then the glimmer...

2. It could be implantation bleeding. Implantation bleeding = Pregnancy.

:)

She said that a pregnancy test wouldn't show up positive yet and to re-test in 3-4 days.  So, on Tuesday I'll re-test. I'm nervous and anxious all at once.  I want it so bad to be option two but I'm also trying to be realistic. I'm afraid I bled too much for it to by implantation bleeding and I did see a bit of fresh blood once (most of it was dark though).

My emotions have been on a roller-coaster and so I'm a little worried what I will feel like if it turns out this is just my period. I'm mentally preparing myself to see another negative. I really am, but now its going to be a really rough day if it is negative. I keep reminding myself the reasons why it probably will be negative. But I'm holding out hope to.

Maybe all our dreams will come true this month.